Before I dive deep into details, I want to provide a brief introduction regarding the purpose of this blog, introduce Scott and I (for those that do not know us), and why we are writing this blog.
So who are we?
Scott (33), my fabulous husband, was born and raised in South Mississippi. He is the oldest of 2 siblings. His younger sister, Jessica, was also born and raised there. Scott attended Jones County Junior College for Drafting and Machine Tool Technology. After graduating, he worked his way up from a 'Helper' to a 'Pipefitter' working long hot days in the southern heat. Currently, he works as a 'Team Lead' for a great company in Eaton, OH just minutes from our home...yes, that's right! I got him to move up North! I just hope he never loses that adorable Southern accent! Scott works hard using his AutoCAD skills manufacturing various computer parts for the government. His parents work for a paper mill company in south Mississippi and enjoy spending time with their grand babies and family.Lindsay (28)...yours truly, was born in Indiana and moved to Ohio as a little girl with my family. A few years later, my brother, Chris, was born. My parents are currently realtors in Preble County and enjoy spending time with their grandson, Ridge. I attended Wright State University and received my Bachelor of Arts degree in Public Relations. I then decided to hit the road and move to Mississippi to earn my Master's degree in Higher Eduction - College Student Personnel. I worked in the Registrar's and the Student Activities Office....can you see where this is going?
Of course there is more to our lives prior to meeting, but that's for another day.
North Meets the South
When my friend found out that I was moving to the deep south, she insisted I try out an online dating site...just so I could meeting someone in a place I knew not a soul! She signed me and the next thing I knew, this guy (Scott) had sent me a "wink"...after waiting a few days, I sent this guy a message back. We kept emailing back and forth until one day, we exchanged phone numbers and began talking for hours at a time on the phone...this continued on about 3 months before I actually moved to Mississippi. The day I arrived, I met him...and he met me, my mom, dad, and my friend. Poor guy.
In November 2010, I married my best friend with the majority of our closet friends and family there to celebrate with us. Over the last 4+ years, we spoke often of our hopes and dreams for a family which included children and a couple dogs...maybe even some chickens and goats (We are country farm folks for sure...)
What's up now?
In November 2013, Scott moved to Ohio to start his AMAZING job (no longer in the hot and humid conditions) and lived temporarily with my parents. I continued to work in Mississippi and pack up our home. In January 2014, I joined Scott in Ohio. We are happy to be living close to my side of the family, though we miss Scott's side terribly. Jessica, Scott's sister, and her husband Justin have 4 wonderful kids! (This past Thanksgiving, the whole clan packed up and joined us in Ohio for several days. Absolutely loved taking the kids around doing "yankee" stuff...as they put it.)In September, my brother, Chris, became a daddy to an adorable baby name Ridge! Having Ridge puts Scott and I aunt and uncle to 4 nephews and 1 niece.
Scott continues to work in Eaton, and I accepted a job at Wright State University this past December. We enjoy attending church where I am the Youth Director, and stay active with family friends. When the weather is nice, we love fishing, hiking, going to parks, swimming, and taking our little dog, Shorty for walks. We have recently started bike riding as well! Together, we are eating better, exercising, and trying to get in the best healthy shape of our lives...that process may take awhile ;)
So...why the blog?
For the past year, Scott and I have been trying to have a family...with no luck. We have done loads of reading, researching, and praying. A couple months ago, we decided to seek the help of doctors to find out why we have not been blessed with a child...or one on the way...as of yet.My appointment went OK with the doctor. I'm no longer having regular cycles, and when I do, it appears the eggs are not top notch. My doctor suggested Clomid, though I wanted to wait until after a family trip to Mississippi to begin fertility drugs. In the meantime, it was suggested Scott get tested as well...just so we know what we are working with and to make sure we are taking the best steps possible.
Scott went in for his test/analysis nearly 2 weeks ago. We figured it was no biggy and were getting closer to having our family!
This past Friday, March 20, Scott called to check on his results....the doctor told him he had "some abnormalities" as well...that alone shocked us both. The doctor said she would be willing to come in the next day (on a Saturday...yikes!) and meet with both of us. Saturday was our birthday...yup! We share a birthday. Scott's older, though...important to make sure that is noted ;) I had a feeling the news we were going to get was not good...
Saturday morning rolls around...HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO US...and we head for the doctor's office. After waiting nearly an hour, we heard the results..."Scott, it's not a matter of the quality of your sperm or if there is lower amounts. You have no sperm." Already preparing myself for that news, the only way I could think to respond was, "Wow. What are the chances that BOTH of us have fertility issues?!"...apparently 3-5% of the population.
We left the doctor's office with a referral to see a specialist...but not until April 17th. There could be a couple possibilities. 1.) There is a blockage in Scott causing the production to be low...however, this is not a high chance. Usually in a blockage, there are at least SOME sperm present. If there is a blockage, it may be able to be fixed with surgery... 2.) There could be some sperm in there that are not hitching a ride out...and maybe they can be extracted and used for IVF, thus MAYBE giving us a chance at a biological child.
Scott and I have done a lot of thinking. If one of those things is discovered with Scott, we still have my issues. If nothing is found in Scott, my issues really will not matter in the scheme of having biological children. So now, we wait until April 17th until we see the male infertility specialist.
Of course while waiting, I start doing more research, calling the insurance company, but most importantly, we really talk everything out. What are our options? What do we want? We are both very open and excited to adoption as well. We believe God is in control...and everything happens for a reason. It's all part of His plan for us...and we accept that.
What we have learned the past couple days...
1. Between family, friends, co-workers, and each other we have a great support system.2. The insurance will cover the testing...but that's it. We are responsible for ANY IVF treatments, IUI treatments, medications, etc. Each IVF treatment for BOTH of us is around $20,000. It is also not a guarantee it will work...or that it is an option.
3. Adoption is between $20,000-$50,000 for a private agency, as that would be our wish...so that we may have a newborn. This can take months to years.
4. We love each other...more than anything. And we KNOW we will make great parents one day. As Scott told me the other day, "this is the hand we have been dealt, but I'm a great card player."
5. We are scared. What will happen? How will we afford this? Will we ever get to the point of being blessed with a baby...biologically or adopted?
I will be writing this blog to share with everyone our experience in our journey. We talked about whether or not to write a blog, but I think it can help us process...and maybe help others in the same situation. There is VERY LITTLE information out there on couples that have both people having fertility issues. Maybe we can be a resource, make some new friends, or maybe just keep our family/friends updated...I may be just writing to Scott and I...who knows. If you are still reading this, please keep us in your prayers. We have a strong loving marriage and will make great parents someday. <3
