Homestudy...
I can't believe it has been over 2 months since I last wrote an update. To catch you up, Scott and I were officially homestudy approved on July 29 and notified of the approval on August 6! Ahhh. Such a relief. We began submitting our profile to birthmom "situations" (as they are called) right away.Then...
On August 28, a call that that would be start to an amazing thing new beginning came in. We had been selected by a birthmom (along with 7 other couples) to meet...the following week. The nerves really kicked in...one of 8 couples, though. We were so excited yet had to contain our excitement as we really did not think we would be selected. However, we prayed. And prayed. We prayed not to be matched...but for the birthmom and for God to help us accept whatever the outcome may be for Scott and I.
We traveled to our meeting place and met Miss. M (as I will call her). Her mom was also there. They were both amazing. We laughed, joked, and took 30 minutes to get to know each other before our time was up. Scott and I left feeling at peace. The nerves were still there. Neither of us could quit peeing! Haha. In all of our 12+ hour rides to Mississippi, we have never stopped as much to pee as we did for our 3.5 hour trip for our meeting!! (TMI, right?)
When we were about halfway home, our agency called. We were now one of two couples being considered by Miss. M!! Excitement, nervousness...it all came into play even more. We had 2 days before traveling to meet Miss M. again.
On the day of our second meeting, I know I was personally so nervous, that I cannot even remember what Scott and I talked about in the car on the way to meet Miss. M....but when we walked into our meeting, the nervousness and fear went away. It felt like friends catching up. Laughing. Joking. Comparing favorites...the hour flew by. Again, we left feeling peace.
Our Miracle...
Before we were home again, the agency called. WE WERE PICKED AND OFFICIALLY MATCHED! Scott was speechless. (in a good way, though!) Then excitement REALLY hit. Unbelievable!! There are really no words to describe the way you feel, as those when you find out you are going to be parents.Within a couple of days, phone numbers were released so that Miss. M, and I could start communicating. Scott and I wanted an open adoption. So before I go any further, I want to explain this a little more...
Open Adoption...
At first, Scott and I were scared of what an open adoption was. It took education, talking to those that have adopted or were adopted. Thankfully, Miss. M. and her family were on the same page as us for openness.There are varying degrees of what an open adoption is. Some are just pictures and updates here and there either through the agency or directly to the birth family. Others are weekly/monthly visits. Some birthmom and adoptive moms even become best friends and essentially part of the family.
The reasoning behind open adoption can also vary family to family. Mostly, it is best for the adopted child. Knowing where you come from, why you were placed for adoption, and who your biological family members are, is an important part of growth, development, and you as a person. We would never want to block our child(ren) from knowing that. Nor, the birth family from knowing how their precious gift is doing. Children that have that information withheld from him/her often grow to resent their adoptive family...because at some point in their life, they start to sense something is different. Also, in the state of Ohio, when a child turn 18, he/she has access to the original birth certificate.
Our Adoption...
Our level of openness with Miss. M. is exactly what we had hoped for. Phone calls/text, occasional meeting, and staying in communication throughout his life. This is easy for Scott and I. We absolutely love our birthmom...and she is more than that. She is a friend. She and I text every couple of days. Miss. M. is simply AMAZING. Scott and I are allowed to attend doctor's appointments! Miss. M. even has sent ultrasound pictures, a video of her tummy moving, and we are all 3 working to come up with a name for our son, due the first part of November! I was even asked to be in the room when little man is born. We are truly blessed with this match AND having Miss. M. as our birthmom.Miss M. if you are reading this...thank you...even though thank you will never be enough. You have made a dream come true for us. We absolutely promise to cherish, support, provide, and encourage your precious gift. You are such a brave, strong, and amazing person. I am so thankful to have the connection we do between us, and I just know you will be part of our lives and in our heart forever
Miss. M is 33 weeks and 1 day. The big day is quickly arriving! Continue to pray...most importantly for our birthmom and new friend...and our sweet son. Though this is a very exciting time for Scott and I, it can also be an emotional and difficult road ahead for Miss. M. and her family.
So, What Happens Now?
Many have asked us, "What happens now?" I thought I would take some time to explain the process from here on out. As always, we are happy to share, as we hope to help others that are wanting to adopt!1. Our attorney is currently preparing paperwork for the placement of little man into our home, as well as other paperwork that is needed. Miss. M. will be meeting with her attorney soon to also complete some paperwork while working on her hospital plan (how she wants her hospital experience to go from the beginning of her stay, to the end of her stay.)
2. In the state of Ohio, the birthmother has 72 hours to decide whether or not she wishes to continue with the adoption plan.
3. After 72 hours, the Consent Hearing takes place. The birthmom and her attorney is present at this hearing.
4. The same day as the Consent Hearing, is the Placement Hearing. (I believe same day) That's where Scott and I acknowledge to the Court our desire to adopt and willingness to pay the adoption expenses. Scott and I along with our attorney will be there.
5. After court, a documented visit by our social worker is held at our home after 7 days, and then every 30 days until our Finalization Hearing (6-8 months after birth).
6. The Putative Father Registry. The birth father has 15 days from birth to come forward and claim he wants to parent. IF this were to happen, we would have to give up little man...and that's it for us. We pray this is not the case.
7. 90-120 days after birth, our attorney will file Petition for Adoption. At this time, we will need to update some forms from our homestudy.
8. In the 5th month, our attorney files more paperwork stating there is a bond in the best interest of the child at this point.
9. 6-8 months after birth, we finalize the adoption in court. At that time, we no longer need social worker visits :)
So that's it in a nutshell. Thank you again for your continued support and prayers!!
For those that have asked, our baby registry: Click here!
